LiederWynd

2011 + 2012 + 2013 + 2014 + 2015 + 2016 + 2017 + 2018 + 2019  Official End Of Year Review -- 2020 Once upon a time, there were five boys and a star. The boys and the star made a promise. “Even if we go our separate ways, we will meet here again.” 1. What did you do in 2020 that you'd never done before?: I know of someone who felt like he was trapped in an eternal winter, not sure if spring would ever come for him. Well, if he were still alive, he'd probably have an entire weeks' worth of soiled underwear, because it has been March for ten months now. It's part of the reason I stopped posting things that I've done every month, because there was nothing to do. But I adapted surprisingly well. While the rest of the world was dealing with not getting haircuts and being trapped, those of us with mental health issues were able to pull out ALL the resources we use on a daily basis and handle it the bes...

On August 16, 2005, I became a roller coaster. Now, I should mention before that I’ve written about this before. On my old website, I posted an entire series about a bunch of weird things that happened to me in the summer of 2005. It all culminated in me thinking I became a roller coaster. And while I can most certainly say I’m not a hunk of metal four hundred and twenty feet up in the sky, I have a better understanding of why I claimed that as my identity for so long -- and why I’m daring to reclaim it. Buckle up, folks, literally. By the time you’re done with this post, I will not be the same. -- Since the original post is no longer live, I’m gonna pull a couple of things from it and post them here. We go back to August 16, 2005. I was seventeen years old, at Cedar Point with friends, and the day was ending: Solo queue time was a time of reflection. Just four months earlier, my father had condemned me (for being a lesbian) and my mother had misunderstood me. Since then, God had chang...

I was actually thinking to myself last night, being 32 is more exciting than being 31. I think it's because I'm really ready to leave the past year behind. There is so much that has happened that me at this point last year wouldn't even recognize me. And it's not just because I finally got new glasses this year. I think I really made the changes that I needed to. That said, now I have to try and scrounge up five things that happened this month because I literally did not leave my house: I started doing my therapy online. I was a little nervous at first, but thankfully it worked really well. Oh! I did Camp NaNoWriMo, and I wrote a novella. I will share it at some point, just not now. On that note, I had a friend start a writing challenge, and I worked on it. It very nicely kept me busy for a good long while, to the point where I actually posted it on my Wattpad. I wrote a little bit of music, but you didn't hear that from me. I got into a new K-Pop boy band, ...

I know what you're thinking. It's super hard to put together a list like this right now. #OkayEmily what are you even supposed to do in the middle of a pandemic? Well, for starters: I started journaling full-time again. I had stopped for a good bit, only journaling quickly once a week or so, because of how stressed out I was. (There are some of you who know that I have been journaling basically nonstop since 2007. I'm on journal #19.) Ever since I started the new journal, I've made it a point to never miss a day. I also started working from home. This is important because while I am able-bodied and relatively fine, there are people in my house who will die from this virus if we get it. We have to minimize what goes out and what comes in. Mikkun still has to, but he is much better protected now than he once was. They also swapped his hours so I can pick him up from work every day now :) Work from home is fine. It has its own stresses but is quieter than the office, wh...

#OkayEmily where is last month's post? You said you were gonna post one of these every month, you know? Yes, I know that, but last month was important in one very important way: 1: I lost one of my best friends. Have you ever known someone who never really said much, but was always just...there? Any time you needed anything important, they would help provide it, and then they would go back to their hiding spot? But they were always still around to hang with people. She was beautiful, and I'm not gonna go into too much detail. But it was through her that I met Mikkun, that I found the arcade that I did. It's very indirectly because of her and her best friend that I started to get myself back, finally. She gave me more than I could ever repay her for, and I think she knew that. I have to be certain that she did. No other message matters anymore. 2: I played an incredibly failed recital. Which I'm actually really okay with! You learn what works for you and you move o...

Admittedly I totally had this list on the 5th, and then I got pretty well exiled from my computer. So I decided to sit down and put this up before I fall asleep again: I went back to the RAJ gaming event. Last year, it was my first convention after I had a massive mental breakdown at Matsuricon , and I was just happy I could stand on my own two feet for a few hours. This year, the partner and I got a hotel room and stayed downtown, and nobody else could fill the spots. It was kind of nice to have the whole hotel thing down pat, and I went up there midday when I couldn't stand the noise and took a nap. I think I might start doing that at conventions from now on. So if you don't see me on the floor on Saturday afternoons, assume I am asleep, or resting, and if you want to come up to my hotel we will see if I can swing it. On top of that, I got to perform at RAJ! We ironed out the kinks from the previous convention, although we didn't have the time or the money to buy a pia...

2011 + 2012 + 2013 + 2014 + 2015 + 2016 + 2017 + 2018  Official End Of Year Review -- 2019 You know it all, you’re my best friend The morning will come again No darkness, no season is eternal 1. What did you do in 2019 that you'd never done before?: I GOT A CAT. I may not shut up about that for a while, and it's not like he's the most snuggly bean in the entire existence, but it's a dream I've literally had for years. I always kind of wished that I would find a cat out there somewhere, and it would pick me, and I would take it home and we'd be the best of friends. It's a little different than that, and I needed some major help with the "finding the cat" part, but it happened on my terms and it couldn't have come at a better time. Love my cat. Hopefully in time he will mellow out instead of just wanting to kitty-play all the time, but I'm gonna enjoy this kitty-play, too. In addition to this: I moved in with my partner, whi...

This November was actually really busy! Not only did I go through all that life recovery : I flat out did National Novel Writing Month. And I somehow made it through! In conjunction with NaNoWriMo, I went to our region's special event, the "Evening of Writing Uncontrollably." We literally had to drive out to the middle of nowhere to find this gorgeous old library that looked like something out of a Victorian painting. (They hold a lot of Harry Potter fan events.) I got to tour around, get some writing in, hang out with friends, rock a penguin kigurumi, and listen to one of my friends give a great talk about NaNo. It was 120% what I needed to progress forward. Before I went to the EWU Mikkun and I went to the grand opening of the Round 1 near us. We got T-shirts AND a picture with Santa.  I threw a party for The Game, and it ended up being super chill and everyone just petting my cat. Love my cat. Did I mention I have a cat now? I finally, finally, FINALLY got back ...

One of the other Municipal Liaisons said that it was a good idea to recap your National Novel Writing Month at the end of every November. So forgive me for just a minute as I do so here, because: this year's NaNoWriMo began last year, as I dragged my incredibly mentally ill and disordered friend across the finish line, nearly at the expense of my own novel. Clearly I got some stuff to work through. For the uninitiated: National Novel Writing Month is exactly what it sounds like. Every November, people get together and write novels. It proves to you that you really can do anything if you put your mind to it, at least anything as simple as regular writing. This most current year was my 15th year doing it, and my third year being a non-profit leader in my home city. It's my volunteer job to inspire others to write their books, which I normally do fantastically with all of my extra energy (admit it, you know I got it). I already knew it was going to be crazy this year, because ...

With my triumphant return to...well, something, I've got my five things that I've done this past month. If I delay too much, then when I'm 40 I'll look back at these things I've done and I'll wonder, what was I up to the summer and fall of 2019? I kind of fell off the face of the earth a little bit. Did I do anything of merit? To which I say, hey 40 year old Emily, remember that mixtape? Yeah. (stupid grin) That was a good one. I brought my Anime Cantabile mix home to a recital in Columbus. It felt good to be playing on 'home turf,' and I really love the recital hall that I've been playing at. There wasn't a lot of turnout, but I'm working on that for my next recital. I played Beethoven's 5th in the SEOSO concert of the century. There was also banjo. It was awesome. My eyeglasses were seriously 12 years old, so I finally went and got some new ones. (I also got to have lunch with my grandma twice this month because of that. Twice!! ...

A quick disclaimer before we begin.  The following creative nonfiction deals a lot with my mental health, the issues I've always had with it, and some of my current successes with it. This entry is not to be taken as me confessing that I'm crazy, that I need to be carted away or see a shrink. I have been evaluated by health professionals and while I am of sound mind, growing up with lots of expectations means that you have to put the mental legwork in as an adult to be normal. Fortunately, this is something I have done. I am not sick, I am not dying, the world is not ending. While everything is not always rainbows and butterflies, as this entry explains, I am totally okay and doing well. Bottom line, fam: I am fine, I am not in any danger, and there is no reason for anybody to worry or freak out. If you think I'm looking at you, I'm looking at you. The following creative nonfiction also makes reference to, but does not DIRECTLY mention outright, a major issue in t...

I bet you're all wondering why I didn't post last month. (Spoiler alert: nobody's probably wondering why I didn't post last month.) To be honest, it started with one of the five things I had to do this month: I put in ADA paperwork for my job. #OkayEmily, you're probably wondering, you're not sick. You're totally healthy. Why do you need paperwork in order to actually perform your job? Well, it has to do with immense stress, the day to day operations of my job changing, and one too many automatic bathrooms. It's a post for another day, and now that I can semi-think straight again, I might actually be willing to write it. For a while there, I wasn't getting anything done. I was waking up, going to work, coming home, and sleeping. I might fit in some "me" time, but that was about it. Nothing as far as planning for my future or what not. And normally, I would just hide it all away so that people don't think I'm sick or damaged. B...

First off, I'm aware that things have been slow around here. In order to prepare for the future that I want, I've had to make some cuts along the way. d-VOR-ak is still being edited for simulpub (yes, there are copyedits that have to be made!) but I honestly can't remember the last time I sat in front of my computer to do so. My guess is we will start seeing those in the fall as production ramps up for Book 6. These next couple of months are also very busy as there are changes coming for my family. I will tell more about those as they happen -- no need to worry too hard. And now, for five things I have done during the month of May -- It took me an extra month, but I finally got to Kings Island. It felt GREAT to be back on the Beast, if you know what I mean :P I'm going to make an effort to go more often. I ran into some tough troubles mentally that I didn't think I would ever run into again. I don't need to fully explain what they are here, but this time w...

Well, I'm 31, and to be honest it doesn't feel much different than 30. The main difference is that I'm feeling an increased urgency to do something. Not because I've peaked, not because I'm getting older, but just this note of okay, no more games. I always say all the time that "nothing's gonna hold me back," that I'm going to make my way forward the best way I know how. This year, I want to strive to actually make that true, as derpy as it sounds. I don't really have a choice otherwise. To that effect: I started the long and tiring process of moving. At the moment I literally don't have enough work clothes at my house because they are all at Mikkun's. Perhaps I should have rethought that part. As we clean and make other adjustments, more of my belongings are being moved in. I shut the door to my room for the first time Sunday and it honestly felt like my space. That is something I've been working toward, and I'm glad I...