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Update: 5 Things On The 5th (January and February 2020)

#OkayEmily where is last month's post? You said you were gonna post one of these every month, you know? Yes, I know that, but last month was important in one very important way:

1: I lost one of my best friends.

Have you ever known someone who never really said much, but was always just...there? Any time you needed anything important, they would help provide it, and then they would go back to their hiding spot? But they were always still around to hang with people. She was beautiful, and I'm not gonna go into too much detail. But it was through her that I met Mikkun, that I found the arcade that I did. It's very indirectly because of her and her best friend that I started to get myself back, finally. She gave me more than I could ever repay her for, and I think she knew that. I have to be certain that she did. No other message matters anymore.

2: I played an incredibly failed recital. Which I'm actually really okay with! You learn what works for you and you move on. It sucked and was embarrassing in the moment, but it didn't make me fall apart, which is actually really huge for me!

3: I set up a weekly schedule where I would write every single Sunday, after my piano lessons. Because of this, I've been able to make (unseen) progress. Trust me when I say nobody wants to read what I'm writing!

4: I, like, actually got to play Ohayocon. You may or may not understand how big of a deal this is. This is the con I grew up going to. To be able to actually play it to my biggest crowd was amazing.

5: I did #1 of my school auditions! This was really nervewracking, and to be honest, I'm keeping the actual schools under wraps because I don't want anybody to know yet or ask me a million questions. I have no clue if I'll get into this school or not, but the professor was amazing and totally understanding.

So then in February:

1: I went off to #2 of my auditions! This was a much simpler day trip and I even took Mikkun with me.

2: I stayed overnight in a big city for #3 of my auditions. The downtown felt a lot like New York City, and it really hit me that I'm fulfilling my dreams.

3: And then the next weekend I did #4 of my auditions. They upgraded my room to one with a jacuzzi. Yes, I took advantage of that.

4: Mikkun's grandfather finished his radiation appointments for his cancer. This is notable on my list because I got roped into driving him.

5: In addition, I'm in the process of seeking out trauma therapy for the issues I've mentioned, especially from my writings in October and November. This problem has only gotten worse, and while a LOT of things are MUCH better, it's time to uncover how I keep getting in these crappy situations in the first place. But that's between me and me :)
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