Official End Of Year Review -- 2020
Once upon a time, there were five boys and a star.
The boys and the star made a promise.
“Even if we go our separate ways, we will meet here again.”
1. What did you do in 2020 that you'd never done before?:
I know of someone who felt like he was trapped in an eternal winter, not sure if spring would ever come for him. Well, if he were still alive, he'd probably have an entire weeks' worth of soiled underwear, because it has been March for ten months now. It's part of the reason I stopped posting things that I've done every month, because there was nothing to do. But I adapted surprisingly well. While the rest of the world was dealing with not getting haircuts and being trapped, those of us with mental health issues were able to pull out ALL the resources we use on a daily basis and handle it the best we could. So: it's not that I haven't done it before, but I wrote a CRAPTON of fanfiction, I got an audience, and I'm using it as a way to cope with Literally Not Leaving My House.
So yeah: I did my best in surviving a pandemic. We also got another cat, I finally went to school, and I also finally got to see my parents' new house in that weird gap between the first surge of COVID and when things all went downhill again.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make New Years resolutions anymore, though I will do my standard card pull. It was eerily accurate for this past year.
3. Where did you ring in 2020?
I don't remember, because trauma has taken this memory from me. Trauma has taken several memories from me. A lot of my year is a blur. The later it gets, the more I remember, and I'm glad for that.
4. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?:
April 24th. Nobody *really* knows why, it's personal to me. But I think if you've been following my story all year, I think you'll understand why without me having to tell you.
5. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?:
I was 32, and I do not remember. I think I remember taking off of work, and probably getting take out at my favorite place. But I'm fairly certain I just stayed home, since we were really in the middle of COVID restrictions still at that point.
6. What was your status by Valentines Day?
Still with my boo. We are more long distance now that I'm in school, but we seem to be doing okay. As okay as we can be in a pandemic.
7. Were you in school (anytime this year)?
(insert wild GIF of "EMILY YOU DID IT")
8. How did you earn your keep?
A mix of working and loans. With my job, working became immensely harder. I had to FIGHT to get to work from home, basically not able to until I got a doctor's note, and meanwhile the disease spread like wildfire among the offices. Then they decided they were changing my ADA accommodations at the last second. Thankfully I was leaving for school, so I just left. I have a part time job now, and right now the loans are taking care of the rest. I'm hoping for a better financial situation once this COVID thing gets settled.
9. Did you suffer illness or injury?:
I still have a lot of anxiety issues, but I've been using this year to process so many things that have hurt me. It's been going really well. I'm a completely different person than I was a year ago. (Literally a completely different person -- at some point, since I'm nonbinary, I will stop going by Emily altogether. That day has not yet come, though.) Other than that, I have not officially caught COVID -- we think I might have had it back in February, during my auditions, but we can't know for sure.
10. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:
Moving to school and having my own place again. "Oh you can just live at home and commute" haha horrible idea. I've got my digital piano at school, so I can practice even if campus is closed.
11. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?:
My phone has decided that I'm dating an eighteen year old K-Pop idol who's not from BTS and it's the biggest inside joke of all time (he's not even my bias!)
12. What political issue stirred you the most?:
This year was another big election year, so most of it was just making sure we got the vote out.
13. Where did most of your money go?:
School.
14. How was this year's PreCure?:
This used to be "what was your favorite TV show" but I never watch enough TV for it to count, and I always just end up talking about PreCure. It's been okay! The last two years with Star Twinkle and Hugtto have been AMAZEBALLS, and this year is much more laid back. It doesn't help that nearly every anime took a hiatus there for a while because of COVID, but it's pretty okay. I'm a few episodes behind, but nothing ridiculous. The new one looks great, love the character designs.
15. What was your favorite film of this year?:
Boo and I saw Sonic in theaters right before COVID hit. So I guess that's the one. LOL.
16. What was the best book you read?:
Probably honestly something I read on one of my fanfiction websites. Fanfiction writers are SO TALENTED. Other than that, most of what I've read has been textbooks.
17. What was your greatest musical discovery?:
You don't have to have it all together. Just keep doing what you're supposed to.
18. Did anyone close to you give birth?:
Not this year. It's a matter of time, fufufufufufufufufufu
19. Did anyone close to you die?:
We lost Gwen from Snow Phoenix, I'm assuming somehow to COVID (it was back in February). That was particularly devastating, because it was so sudden. Nothing's been the same since.
20. What countries/states did you visit?:
I only made it to Carolina this year, in the middle of everything when the spread was lower. I'm glad I went when I did. I literally haven't even been to an amusement park this past year because I've had to keep the spread low. I don't know if I'm going to continue that plan in the future.
21. What was your biggest achievement of the year?:
Making it into grad school. I legitimately thought I wouldn't have made it there for a while. But I'm having the time of my life, and learning so much about myself in the process.
22. What was your biggest failure?:
I honestly don't think I properly failed at anything this year. Nothing that I would really consider a failure, anyway. I learned a lot about myself, I made mistakes, stuff like that, but I didn't find a way to fall from grace this year. And even if I had, I would have learned how to pick myself back up.
23. Compared to this time last year, are you…
i. thinner or fatter?: I know this legitimately for sure this year! I've lost about fifteen pounds in two months, so I'm roughly where I was at last year. (COVID weight gain is real, y'all.) I hope to continue this to a more healthy weight.
ii.
richer or poorer?: I'm a student now, what do you think the answer is
24. What do you wish you'd done more of?:
Studying.
25. What do you wish you'd done less of?:
Worrying.
26. How will you be spending Christmas next December?:
I want to go to my parents' house.
27. Did you fall in love in 2020?
I did. With myself.
28. How many one-night stands?:
None.
29. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?:
Still hate them. But I understand that things had to happen the way they did. I wouldn't have been able to make so many changes without it.
30. What did you get really, really, really excited about?:
Quitting my job and getting back into piano study full-time.
31. What did you want and get?:
My MOAbong.
32. What did you want and not get?:
Admittance to my dream school.
33. What was your best month?
I didn't have a best month, per se. I was busy all through January and February with school prep stuff, then March came and society died. I guess all months were an equal amount of good this year.
34. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?:
The ability to go to Kings Island.
35. How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (shitty) to 10 (excellent)?
It was an 8. Even with COVID. There are things that happened to me that wouldn't have happened if COVID hadn't been a thing.
36. What's something you learned about yourself in 2020?
That I want to identify as non-binary full time. I mentioned it before: I let everybody get away with calling me female for years, when I'm not actually female. I'm making small steps to rectifying that, and as I've been doing so, my confidence has skyrocketed. I'm excited to see where this goes in the New Year. I can't want for someday, someone to call me Emily and for me to say, "I don't go by that name anymore."
37. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?:
When I worked at home, I had two rules: I wasn't allowed to drink while on the clock, and I had to at least put jeans on. I couldn't work in PJ pants or yoga pants. I had to get in the mood to work somehow. So it was a lot of jeans and hoodies. I FINALLY bought men's jeans! I am NEVER wearing womens' jeans again :D
38. What kept you sane?:
My writing. I wrote somewhere around (counts) 200K worth of words this year? Probably more like 225K once you factor in other stuff. That's CRAZY to me. But I had nothing else to turn to. So I showed up, I did the work, and I made it happen.
39. Who did you miss?:
I miss my boo and my cats when I'm at school. But I've kind of learned that it's okay to not be friends with everybody. Sometimes you just...aren't friends or with someone, and that's okay.
40. Who was the best new person you met?:
I can't name all of the fantastic ARMY people I've met this year. You've really what made this year. Thank you. (MOA too!)
41. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020.
Sometimes things just are, and that's how it is. Learn what those things are. Those are the things that define you.
42. What song will always remind you of 2020?:
Welcome To The Disco by Yung Bae with Macross 82-99. It's just instrumental, but it's great disco fun.
43. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
If I *don't* pick like all of We Lost The Summer, is it even 2020?
Many first days after the first day on my calendar
I'm left on the endless evening of March 1
My white day wasted already
Keep lovesick, no vaccine
Our time has lost the weather
I'm standing still in winter
But then of course you have BTS' answer in Life Goes On.
Let me tell you with this song
People say the world has changed
But thankfully between you and me
Nothing has changed
44. What Quotes sum up the year?:
This year, I don't leave you with a quote. I leave you with the knowledge that, at 5 PM every day, the Wright Patterson Air Force Base plays some crazy bugle call that I can't identify, and then plays The Star Spangled Banner to end the day. That is my quote of the year. It might seem cheesy, and it might be weirdly overly patriotic, but it's one of those things that's become part of my life. I want for my days to continue like this.
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