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Update: A Cup Of Tea

I have been doing way too much thinking for my own good as of lately.

My life has an odd pattern where, every three years, it seems that the same things happen. Year 1 is a year where I learn a lot about myself. Year 2 is a year where it is easier to travel places. Year 3 is an 'off' year, and that is what 2018 is. But I'm starting to find that an 'off' year is probably more of a 'building' year. I've just always compared it to the other years, albeit unfairly. 

God has forced me to slow down. I want to charge, full speed ahead. Now that I have somewhat of an idea of what I actually want to do (yeah, #OkayEmily, I know I've said that 15,000,000 times now but at least I'm listening this time) I just WANT TO GET THERE ALREADY. God's more interested in telling the story, so I'm doing my best to stick to the speed They want me to go at. (Also, yeah, I totally just de-gendered God, bite me.)

Which means there are things that are going to come slower than anticipated. This means:
  • It's gonna be a LONG while before you get any new music from me. Anything...other than probably performing with my orchestra. 
  • This also goes for writing. Some of you know what I'm working on right now. Others don't. Let me tell you: it ain't all that impressive unless you happen to play a lot of Bemani, and even then, it's probably skippable. 
  • I'm throwing myself in even more at work to ensure I can have a future -- both inside and outside of it.
  • I'm caring for myself above all else, learning about the genre I'm going into and what it's made up of. This will take time, but I will eventually write on this as well.
In addition, this means I'm also letting go of old projects that I know no longer serve me. I haven't fully given up on Dvorak -- I'm waiting on God's plan for that one. But I'm sure there are others that should simply remain special to me, stories that nobody else needs to know. Some of these will be retired in time. I will also no longer be making any fan stories of roller coasters that aren't mine to fan. Quite simply, somebody ruined it for me -- but I'm okay with that. It seems to have been God's plan, and I'm hoping They pave the way for lots of new stories that are mine to claim.

So. All in patience, and I'm sure I'll write about it here as I discover things. Let this be another odyssey of searching for God...and on that note, hopefully my next blog post will seem a bit familiar.
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